Feel Free To Choose To Be Yourself: Help For The M Defense Type.

If you would like to learn a little about the 5 defense patterns, go check out this blog post and see what you think you are. Below is help for the M defense type or anyone who would like to feel free to choose and let go of needing to be in control. 

The M is that person who comes out and asks you for your opinion on what outfit they might wear for the day, and then always pick the opposite of whatever your opinion was. You question yourself, “Why did they even bother to ask?” Well, it was just to validate to themselves demonstrate that you can’t control them. 

The M’s biggest fear is that someone is going to control them, and ironically, many of the M’s I know end up in weirdly controlling relationships. 

However, I have some great relationships with people who are the M-type, but as an R who wants to do the right thing all the time (you can read more about the R-type defense pattern here), M’s drive me nuts because they always do the opposite of what you want. They are described as masochistic because they will go so far as to hurt themselves just to prove that no one is controlling them. So when an M is in a conflict they are trying to figure out what you want, so that then they don’t do what you want, so then they are not controlled. 

Again, ironically, M-type is probably the easiest to control--reverse psychology works great on them. A savvy more mature M knows better, but if you have a kid who is an M, that reverse psych will work like a charm. 

I love M’s because they have an intuitive superpower to always know what you want (and then not do it). But the same way they know how to do the thing that will drive you crazy, they know the exact thing to make you feel loved and happy. They have this incredible ability to help you when you are feeling down, because they know exactly what it is you need to feel better and they will do it. 

If you are an M, embrace that side that always knows what to do to help someone. Don’t shy away because you think you might be controlled, it’s a gift to be able to love and help others. 

Here are some statements to help the M-type (or anyone) looking to feel the freedom to choose while also letting go of control or needing to control (I know, it’s a paradox). 

I forgive myself for believing everyone invades me. 

I forgive myself for choosing behavior that demands invasion or control. 

I forgive myself for believing I am controlled by others.

I forgive myself for believing I don’t know who I am. 

I forgive myself for believing I lose myself and my choices when others seek to control me. 

I forgive myself for failing to control myself. 

I forgive myself for losing myself. 

I forgive myself for fearing the control of others. 

I forgive myself for believing everyone invades and humiliates me. 

I forgive myself for believing I’m always invaded and humiliated. 

I forgive myself for all the times I have invaded or humiliated another person. 

I forgive myself for believing I can only make a choice based on the choice of another. 

I forgive myself for believing I can’t decide what I really want. 

I forgive myself for believing I have to resist when there’s a demand even if it means for fitting what I really want. 

I forgive myself for giving up what I really want just to demand and resist. 

I forgive myself for demanding and resisting at the same time. 

I forgive myself for blaming others for my unfulfilled choices. 

I forgive myself for believing I can’t know what I want until I know what others want. 

I forgive myself for believing I’m dependent. 

I forgive myself for believing I’m empty. 

I forgive myself for blaming others for my dependence. 

I forgive myself for failing to clearly know and identify who I am and what I choose for happiness. 

I forgive myself for believing I can only tell my differentiation from others when we have different choices. 

I forgive myself for believing my individual essence is not differentiated from others. 

I forgive myself for failing to honor and love my authentic self as the divine creation as it is and I am. 

I forgive myself for throwing myself away. 

I forgive myself for believing I am not free to feel and express myself. 

I forgive myself for blaming others for my lack of freedom and expression. 

I give others permission to forgive me when I want to control them. 

I give others permission to forgive me when I lose myself. 

I love and accept myself even when I’m afraid I won’t be able to individuate myself without hurting myself. 

I love and accept myself even when I’m afraid I’ll never know who I am without someone else. 

I love and accept myself even when I’m afraid someone’s going to invade or humiliate my space. 

I love and accept myself even when I’m afraid I can’t know what I want without knowing what someone else wants. 

I love and accept myself even when I’m afraid I’ll have to give up what I want in my life to have autonomy from someone else. 

I love and accept myself even when I’m afraid someone’s going to control me.

I give myself permission to accept that I can feel safe with invasion. 

I give myself permission to accept that I can maintain my identity and self-control even if somebody invades me. 

I give myself permission to accept that I can love being in control of myself. 

I give myself permission to know who I am. 

I give myself permission to be in control of my identity. 

I give myself permission to feel safe even with an invasion. 

I give myself permission to love and respect my identity in invasion and humiliation. 

I give myself permission to know what I choose and I know I am the controller of my choices. 

I give myself permission to make solid choices based on the knowledge I have of my identity. 

I give myself permission to feel happiness and joy when my choices are fulfilled. 

I give myself permission to differentiate between my choices and the choices of others even when those choices are identical. 

I give myself permission to be differentiated from others even when we have identical choices. 

I give myself permission to accept God created me as an individual in control of myself and my choices if I choose to be. 

I give myself permission to accept that I am free to feel and express myself. 

I give myself permission to have and express my feelings. 

I give myself permission to know how to express all my feelings. 

I give myself permission to own my core essence, authentic self, and know myself. 

I give myself permission to love owning my authentic self. 

I give myself permission to see my authentic self as a reflection of my divine individuality. 

I give myself permission to accept I am a divinely created individual. 

I give myself permission to experience time is constantly changing and unfolding in the moment.

Be Less Defensive

If you want to heal these underlying patterns and be less defensive, Emotional Polarity Technique is a great place to start. Whether you want to be your true authentic self (R-type), connect more in your body (S-type), love yourself more (O-type), love others more (M-type), or listen better (P-type), the holistic therapy at open heart holistic therapy is built for you.