Being Your Authentic Self (Help For The R Defense Pattern)

I am the R type defense pattern. You can read a little bit about it and all five of the defense types at my blog post over here. 

My defense type is R, for rigid. I think that this defense pattern might be the nicest defense type.  When the R-type is defensive, they do what they have been taught is the right thing to do. An R might not always do exactly what the right thing is, but they will do their best to do whatever it is they have been taught is the right thing to do. They are the people pleasers of the defense types. They are not likely to argue, and they will take the best action they know how in order to make the conflict better. 

The struggle of the R-type is one of knowing themselves. They don’t know if they do what they do because it is the right thing to do, or if it is authentic to who they are and what they want to do. The R can really struggle to know what they want and do it for fear that it will be wrong. Creativity and thinking outside the box can be a struggle. R’s follow the instructions to avoid conflict. 

For me, these challenges of the R-type has been true, and the holistic therapy Emotional Polarity Technique has helped me recognize this and grow more into my own authenticity and creativity.  This way, I have been able to lean into my own creativity. I have been able to feel more secure and confident in conflict. And EPT has helped me to be more flexible with myself and others.

If you are an R-type, a good practice is to put your hand on your heart when you are feeling stressed. Ask yourself, “Am I following my heart, or am I just doing what I’ve been taught to do?”

Here are some statements to help the R (or anyone) be their most authentic self: 

I forgive myself for believing I can’t be myself and do the right thing at the same time. 

I forgive myself for believing I don’t know who I am if I did the wrong thing. 

I forgive myself for believing my authentic self doesn’t matter, just doing the right thing is what matters. 

I forgive myself for believing it’s my fault if someone’s upset. 

I forgive myself when I don’t know if I’m being authentic or just doing what I’ve been told. 

I forgive myself for believing creativity is bad and just creates more conflict. 

I forgive myself for believing passion and purpose just creates more conflict. 

I forgive myself when I stifle my gifts, talents and creativity.

I forgive others when they tell me what to do. 

I forgive others for defining me. 

I forgive others when they stifle my creativity and passion.

I give others permission to forgive me when I do what I have been taught instead of what I want or love or have passion for. 

I give others permission to forgive me when I blame them for why I can’t be authentic. 

I give others permission to forgive me when I’m angry at them because they don’t do the right thing.

I love and accept myself even when I’m afraid I can’t be authentic and do the right thing. 

I love and accept myself even when I’m afraid I won’t be accepted if I’m authentic. 

I love and accept myself even when I’m afraid it’s not good to be authentic. 

I love and accept myself even when I’m afraid I’m wrong. 

I love and accept myself even when I’m afraid doing the right thing won’t be good enough. 

I love and accept myself even when I’m afraid being my authentic self will make things worse.

Without this fear I’m going to make things worse, I am free to have faith and confidence in what I do. 

Without this insecurity, I am free to pursue my passion and be wrong. 

Without this pattern I am free to be me. 

I give myself permission to let go of the expectations others have for me to do what’s right so that I can live authentically and have joy and passion in my life. 

I give myself permission to let go of others expectations and live my life with freedom and authenticity.

Be Less Defensive

If you want to heal these underlying patterns and be less defensive, Emotional Polarity Technique is a great place to start. Whether you want to be your true authentic self (R-type), connect more in your body (S-type), love yourself more (O-type), love others more (M-type), or listen better (P-type), the holistic therapy at open heart holistic therapy is built for you.