Are You a Control Freak?
Are you a control freak? I am a recovering (ish) control freak.
Not to induce panic or trigger someone, but there is so much to be in control of: money, work, other people’s bad behavior, expectations to meet, being on time, making the call, sending the email, watching all the episodes, paying the bills, finishing the list, going to the gym, eating healthy, teaching, learning, assignments…
Still, there are only so many hours in the day, and the only moment that matters is right now and what I am doing right now.
I caught myself today worrying about catastrophic events in the future, and I thought, “Paige, that really doesn’t matter, everything is going pretty good right now. Enjoy. Stay in the moment.” And so I let it go when normally I would engage the thoughts for a while. Because I want to make sure everything stays good, because I don’t want to lose good, and I need to convince myself that even if good was lost, I would still be good.
Am I the only one who does this? I hope not.
I’m a recovering control freak, and enjoying the moment is so so so so lovely. In fact, I was just sitting in my office thinking about how much I enjoy it, and I enjoy the decor, and the chairs, and the candles, and the lighting, and the temperature, and it’s so so so so lovely to work in here.
When you let go of control, it is ultimately letting go of some mistake or regret in the past, and letting go of some worry or accomplishment in the future.
Living the choice now, fully, is the best you can do.
Give yourself a pat on the back, high five, or some kind of treat, and enjoy it free from fear.
I forgive myself for believing…
I have to be in control.
If I’m not in control then I’m lost, angry, or insecure.
Losing control means losing happiness.
I can’t be happy if I’m not in control.
I can’t enjoy the moment without losing control.
I have to regret the past and make up for it in the future.
I can control everything and make sure the bad things doesn’t happen again.
I forgive others…
for shaming me when I lose control.
For expecting me to keep everything together all the time.
When they are out of control
I give others permission to forgive me when…
I blame them for my lack of control.
I make them angry with my lack of control.
I love and accept myself even when I’m afraid…
I’ll lose control, make a mistake, and regret it forever.
I’ll never be good enough at being in control of everything.
someone will blame me
Without this hopelessness, I am free to
let go of the past and future, and live presently.
enjoy the moment
be flexible.
transition smoothly.
feel calm when it’s out of my control.
love others more and hold space for them in times of stress.
What control do you need to let go of? What emotions do you feel when you’re out of control?
Come back to the present. Breath.
Our quality service promise to you:
It is our aim that you experience remarkable change in your life through 7 EPT™ sessions. However, if after your first EPT™session you decide this therapy is not for you, we will refund your money and part with gratitude for having the opportunity to share our service with you.
An Open and Safe Environment
Paige Cargioli accepts and respects each person, regardless of sexual orientation, race, religion, ethnicity, gender expression, socio-economic status, age or ability. She is dedicated to offering LGBTQ Affirmative Practice.
Paige strives to create an open and safe environment where people can grow and heal. EPTworks is a guided and active approach to healing that, like any therapy, may feel very emotional at times. The difference is that once all the feelings are said and done, you feel different, and very often--much much better and changed forever.