The S Defense Type: How To Be Grounded In Your Body

If you would like to learn a little about the 5 defense patterns, go check out this blog post and see what you think you are. Below is help for the S defense type or anyone who would like to feel more connected and grounded in your body. 

What is an S Defense Pattern?

My mom, Dr. Annette Cargioli (the inventor of EPT™), would call the S a “Space Cadet.” That is to say, when the poop hits the fan, they tend to avoid, float away, do something else. Or maybe they completely forget what happened in the conversation. While the R-type is very grounded in practicality, the S-type likes to float out of their body and do something else. This may sound like a trauma response (and it kind of is), but it could also simply be rooted in an avoidant type attachment style. You can read more about adult attachment styles here. 

My youngest brother (out of 5 kids) is an S, and it’s probably simply because our house was wild and crazy with so many people. He was the youngest by 5 years, and couldn’t really do much by way of defending himself. So what does he do? He floats away into a Gameboy or a tall glass of Sprite. 

The S-type has to be very intentional to stay grounded and connect when they are feeling threatened. If you have a kid or a partner who is this way, a good way to get them to come back down into their body is to touch them while you talk. Better yet, put a hand on their abdomen, it helps keep them connected and engaged. 

Most of the S’s I know are super easygoing, but they can start to seem edgy if you bring them back down from their cloud. The S type can also be deeply spiritual. They can be uber-creative. They want to engage with you, it just can feel uncomfortable sometimes. 

Here are some statements to help you and the S-type be more grounded in your body:

I forgive myself for believing it’s not safe in my body. I forgive myself for believing I can only feel safe floating away from my body. I forgive myself for believing it’s too painful to be connected and in my body. I forgive myself for believing my body will fail me. I forgive myself for believing someone I love will disconnect and fail me if I’m in my body trying to connect. I forgive myself for believing no one will listen to me anyway. I forgive myself for believing I am better off floating away. I forgive myself for believing I can’t feel safe and secure in my body and grounded. I forgive myself for believing I can only feel safe and secure if I’m floating around and not grounded. I forgive myself for believing I have to escape my body to feel safe.

I forgive others when they float away from me. I forgive others when they hurt me and my body. I forgive others for hurting my body. I forgive others for rejecting me and not listening to me when I was grounded. I forgive my body for failing me when I couldn’t control it. I forgive my body for hurting. I forgive others when they hurt my feelings and I was afraid to be in my body.

I give others permission to forgive me when I don’t feel secure and float away. I give others permission to forgive me when I blame them for why I can’t feel safe in my body. I give others permission to forgive me when I hurt them in their body. I give others permission to forgive me when I make them afraid or feel insecure. I give others permission to forgive me when I can’t stay in my body and connect with them. 

I love and accept myself even when I’m afraid I’ll be hurt if I stay in my body. I love and accept myself even when I’m afraid to feel and connect with my body in another person. I love and accept myself even when I’m afraid connection means hurt. I love and accept myself even when I’m afraid my body will fail me. I love and accept myself even when I’m afraid I’ll stay in my body and still be rejected. I love and accept myself even when I’m afraid I’ll have to take responsibility for my body if I’m connected to it. I love and accept myself even when I’m afraid I’ll never feel as comfortable in my body as I do floating out of my body. 

I give myself permission to accept my body is good. I give myself permission to accept my body is not made took to hurt or to be hurt. I give myself permission to accept I am here to connect and to love and to be loved. I give myself permission to accept I can love my body. I give myself permission to nourish and care for and love my body. I give myself permission to trust my body and what it can and can’t do. I give myself permission to feel safe and secure in my body when it’s safe. I give myself permission to let go of needing to escape my body when there is safety in love with the people I love. I give myself permission to forgive myself when I can’t stay in my body.

Without this pattern, I am free to feel safe in my body. Without this pattern I am free to feel connected on the ground and when I’m relaxing. Without this pattern, I am free to show up for the people I love. Without this pattern, I am free to show up and love and connect with people in a way I wasn’t connected with. Without this pattern, I am free to stay grounded in love with the people that I love. 

Be Less Defensive

If you want to heal these underlying patterns and be less defensive, Emotional Polarity Technique is a great place to start. Whether you want to be your true authentic self (R-type), connect more in your body (S-type), love yourself more (O-type), love others more (M-type), or listen better (P-type), the holistic therapy at open heart holistic therapy is built for you.