How To Forgive A Friend Who Hurt You + Affirmations
Forgiveness can feel complicated. You never want to forgive and then put yourself right back into a bad situation. So, forgiving a friend who has hurt you can be a challenging and emotional process, but it can also be incredibly healing and beneficial for your own well-being. The greatest part is that you don’t even have to give someone forgiveness to their face in order to get the healing benefits of that forgiveness. Forgiving a friend and letting go of the bad feelings you have towards them, whether you ever talk to them again or not, is for your benefit.
Here are some steps to help you navigate through the process of forgiveness:
1. Acknowledge Your Feelings.
It's important to recognize and validate your feelings of hurt, anger, and disappointment. Allow yourself to experience these emotions without judgment. Think about the person who hurt you and process the emotions the way you would want to.
I give myself permission to feel the hurt and disappointment.
I forgive myself for believing I'll always have this hurt and disappointment with my friends.
I give myself permission to say, “Yes” to the anger and hurt, and I call it all up and release it from my body, mind, and spirit.
2. You are allowed to forgive on your own time.
It’s possible that the person who hurt you is long gone, but the hurt is still strong. Don’t beat yourself up for still being angry or disappointed. Forgiveness is a journey that doesn’t need to be rushed. That being said, sometimes you need a helping hand to get you through it. That is where Open Heart Holistic Therapy can help. Together we figure out what is keeping you connected to this hurt and use forgiveness and affirmation to help you let go.
I forgive myself for believing I can never forgive.
I forgive myself for believing it's too late to heal and forgive.
I give myself permission to forgive my friend so I can be free and happy and have peace.
3. Try To Understand Their Perspective And Communicate (If Possible)
Try to understand your friend's perspective and motivations behind their actions. This doesn't excuse their behavior, but it can help you gain some clarity and empathy. Hurt people will often hurt people. Again, that’s no excuse, but it can maybe take the edge off why it feels so personal. Put yourself in your friend's shoes and try to see things from their point of view. This doesn't mean you have to condone their actions, but it can help you develop compassion. If you feel comfortable, consider having an open and honest conversation with your friend about how their actions affected you. This can provide an opportunity for them to apologize and express their own feelings.
I give myself permission to understand their perspective.
I give myself permission to feel peace extending empathy to the person who hurt me.
4. Set Boundaries.
We LOVE talking about boundaries here. Forgiveness isn’t an excuse for everything to be perfect and great. Forgiveness is allowing yourself to be free to be real. That means not letting someone hurt you. After discussing the issue, establish clear boundaries to prevent similar hurtful situations from occurring in the future. This can help rebuild trust for current and future relationships.
I forgive myself for every time I let someone hurt me by crossing my boundaries.
I forgive others when they cross my boundaries.
I give others permission to forgive me when I cross their boundaries.
I love and accept myself even when I'm afraid to connect with someone because they might cross my boundaries.
I give myself permission to feel confident and secure setting my boundaries.
5. Focus on Yourself.
Redirect your energy toward self-care and personal growth. Engage in activities that bring you joy, spend time with supportive people, and prioritize your well-being.
Forgive for Yourself: Remember that forgiveness is ultimately about freeing yourself from the burden of resentment and anger. It doesn't necessarily mean you have to maintain the same level of closeness or friendship.Check out this blog post on forgiving yourself to learn more. Check out this blog post on how to forgive yourself!
Write a Letter: Consider writing a letter to your friend, even if you don't intend to send it. This can be a therapeutic way to express your feelings and thoughts.
Seek Support: If the hurt runs deep or you're struggling to forgive, don't hesitate to seek the help. At Open Heart Holistic Therapy we provide guidance and support throughout the process. Schedule a free consult or appointment today.
6. Let Go.
Once you feel ready, make a conscious decision to let go of the negative emotions tied to the situation. This doesn't mean you forget what happened, but you choose not to let it control your emotions and thoughts. See some thoughts on how to deal with emotional triggers.
I give myself permission to let go of the negative feelings controlling my emotions and thoughts.
I give myself permission to forgive my friend even if they never apologize.
I give my friend permission to forgive me for any way I've hurt them.
I love and accept myself even when I'm afraid I'm going to be hurt again.
I love and accept myself even when I'm afraid letting go won't be good for me.
I give myself permission to feel worthy, calm, and content cultivating new healthy friendships.
Remember that forgiveness is a personal journey, and everyone's process is unique. It's okay to take your time and be patient with yourself as you work through your feelings and ultimately decide whether and how to forgive your friend.