Justified Anger

There are lots of reasons to be angry. 

Lots of just reasons. And anger can give us what we need to precipitate change.

• Anger can motivate us to set and keep strict boundaries.

• Anger can motivate us to fight the bully.

• Anger can motivate us to bring justice. 

• Anger can motivate us to change.

• Anger can motivate us to not be something we don’t like.

• Anger can motivate us to do something different. 

Anger can give us that kick in the pants to fight and protect ourselves or someone we love. 

But that’s it, that’s what it is--it’s a kick in the pants, fire under our butt or in our fists, it’s an explosion of energy to get things moving. Anger is intense action.

However, anger is not sustainable motivation. It’s the precursor to making it or breaking it. 

Too often, anger is the fuel to our fire that can burn us out to the point of burning ourselves. 

That’s when anger becomes a problem. We start to lose who we are in the anger. Anger defines us and our accomplishments, and we’re afraid to let it go because of how far it kicked us, and how deep our wounds are. 

So at what point can we let go of our justified anger?

A lot of my clients know that the anger has gotten to a point where they are hurting themselves and their relationships. Or, it might be that someone else told them they need to get help with their anger. 

Usually, you know when anger isn’t working anymore. We know when it’s gone too far in ourselves, and if we don’t know, then our body may start breaking down to show it. 

• You feel bad and you don’t know why.

• You feel like you should be over “it” already

• You feel like something should be better or should’ve changed by now

Anger is one of the most common emotions that comes up in my work with clients. They might be holding on to a parents anger, or anger towards themselves, or anger at another person. Anger is often buried deep in our past. It fires up when someone important is angry at us, or disappoints us, and our expectations are crushed. And while at the time you may have been helpless to whatever anger was going on around you, you grown now, and you are not helpless anymore. And so, anger does not have to be the driving force of survival. 

Can I trade my just anger motivation for a merciful compassionate motivation?

Getting past anger, can you believe that the better results can be accomplished with motivation that is love, compassion, and mercy? 

This is way is WAY more sustainable. 

In EPT™ Forgiveness Therapy, we collaborate together to find the root of the anger, disappointment, loss, hurt, whatever it might be, so that you can let go of old patterns that are burning you and the people that you love. Once we let go of the anger, we bring in freedom and creativity for you to love more, respond compassionately, and take action for love and justice. 

Here are some statements to let go of anger: 

I forgive myself for allowing anger to prevent me from healing.

I forgive myself for allowing anger to be my power. 

I forgive myself for believing anger is my only power. 

I forgive myself for believing I can’t choose another way to get my way other than anger.

I forgive myself for believing I have to run away from anger to protect myself and the people I love. 

I forgive myself for believing anger is what make me good enough.

I forgive myself for believing anger is the only way anyone will listen to me.

I forgive myself for choosing anger over love and forgiveness.

I forgive myself for believing that if I let go of anger I won’t be protected. 

I forgive myself for believing I have to hold on to anger so I won’t be the object of someone else’s anger. 

I forgive myself for believing I don’t know who I am without anger. 

I forgive myself for believing I can’t take action without anger. 

I forgive myself for believing I have to be reminded of a past memory every time there is anger. 

I forgive myself for believing I have to respond to the same situation with anger over and over again.

I forgive myself for believing that if I let go of justified anger, there will be no justice.

I forgive others for teaching me anger is the only way. 

I forgive others when they used anger to get their way with me.

I forgive others when they are angry with me. 

I forgive others when they make me angry, or actively provoke anger purposefully. 

I forgive others when they want me to have an angry response to feel better about themselves. 

I give others permission to forgive me when I am angry with them.

I give others permission to forgive me when I use anger to get what I want at their expense.

I give others permission to forgive me when I blame them for my anger. 

I love and accept myself even when I’m afraid letting go of anger won’t matter.

I love and accept myself even when I’m afraid I’ll always be angry.

I love and accept myself even when I’m afraid I will lose respect without anger.

I love and accept myself even when I’m afraid I can’t feel happy without anger. 

Without this anger I am free to forgive others when they are angry. 

Without this anger I am free to feel happy and love others more.

Without this anger I am free to forgive myself when I get angry. 

Without this anger I am free to be a better person for the people I love. 

Without this anger I am free to choose creative and innovative ways to fight for justice. 

Without this anger I am free to fight for justice and fully engage others in mercy and compassion. 

Good stuff. Be free.