Healing From Domestic Violence + Affirmations
This October, I decided to focus on COURAGE. When I chose this, I picked it because of 3 things: 1) It is Domestic Violence Awareness Month and domestic violence requires courage to fight, 2) It is also Bullying Awareness Month and bullying requires communal courage to stand up for the victim, and 3) Halloween is spooky and we should be brave. So to help anyone who needs courage in these situations or to help someone in these situations here are some blog posts with tips and affirmations.
Reclaim Your Power: Healing From Trauma
Affirmations to help even when you don’t want to be kind
Healing From Domestic Violence + Affirmations
Healing domestic violence requires using your voice.
Healing domestic violence is requires believing people when they say it happens.
Healing domestic violence means having easily accessible safe places.
Healing domestic violence means rehabilitation and mental health access for the survivors.
Healing domestic violence means justice.
Healing domestic violence means forgiving yourself.
Straight up I’m going to say that forgiving the abuser does not mean letting them hurt you again. Forgiveness of any violence or abuse is not letting them off the hook. It isn’t forgoing justice. It isn’t letting them walk all over you again. It may take time to heal the system or person who was abusive, but it doesn’t have to take time to heal and forgive yourself.
Healing Domestic Violence Requires Using Your Voice
Survivors of domestic violence and abuse only get out because they say something. This is the first step to being free–speaking aloud the truth of what is happening. Telling a friend, a doctor, therapist, family member, or anyone. It can be scary, because that makes it real. It may feel more dangerous. It may be more dangerous. According to the National Coalition of Domestic Violence 85% of women who leave a domestic violence situation will return. It may take leaving more than 9 times before the survivor is gone for good.
Healing Domestic Violence Requires Believing
It may seem hard to believe. Why would someone keep allowing themselves to be hurt over and over again? How bad can it be? But it is complicated. Many people are dependent on their abuser. They may have children. They may have nowhere to go. We must believe the people who say they are being abused. It's because they are not believed that resources are scarce. It's why they go back to the abuser. It's why they might be unalived by their partner. It should be easy when someone is in an unsafe place to find a safe place where they are believed and supported.
Healing Domestic Violence Means Easy Access To Safe Places.
It should be easy for someone to get away from an unsafe situation. If it was easier to find a safe place where resources are available indefinitely, then violent situations would be less. The reason survivors stay is often because the abuser is also the person taking care of all the resources.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline in the US 1-800-799-7233.
Here is a list of international domestic violence resources.
Here is a list of shelters in Tampa, FL.
Healing Domestic Violence Means Rehabilitation And Mental Health Access For Survivors.
When someone is in or just out of a violent situation, they are in survival mode. They may not feel safe and they have good reason not to feel safe. They need to find a place of community and safety, and they need to believe that that community is safe. They need to have the resources and the support to help them in future relationships. If there isn't some kind of emotional support and healing then the situation may repeat itself.
Healing Domestic Violence Means Justice.
How often do you see in the news someone who is unalived by their partner, and that partner was known to be abusive. That partner already had a history of violence that the system knew about. That partner was allowed access to a weapon. Someone may argue that the abuser is just going to go on abusing. That might be true, but policies should be in place to make it as hard as possible for that to happen. That means resources and protection for women and families. That means justice for violence. That means being believed.
Healing Domestic Violence Means Forgiving Yourself
Whether ready to forgive or not. Forgiveness is a part of the healing journey in a domestic violence situation. Here are some affirmations to empower survivors and let go of negative beliefs patterns that keep them in the cycle.
I forgive myself for believing I'll never be good enough.
I forgive myself for believing I deserve the pain.
I forgive myself for believing it's my fault I get beat up.
I forgive myself for believing I'm not worthy of better.
I forgive myself for believing all relationships are abusive and violent.
I forgive myself for believing I have to stay in the relationship until the person changes.
I forgive myself for believing I have to fix the relationship by staying.
I forgive myself for believing it's not that bad.
I forgive myself for believing I'm not strong enough.
I forgive myself for believing I have nobody.
I forgive myself for believing it's not going to be better anywhere else.
I forgive myself for believing I don't have a voice.
I forgive myself for believing everything will just get worse.
I forgive myself for believing if I'm strong and use my power that will make things worse.
I forgive myself for believing if I use my power then they will kill me.
I forgive others when they hurt my feelings because they don't believe me.
I give others permission to forgive me when I don't believe them.
I give others permission to forgive me when I blame them for my pain.
I love and accept myself even when I'm afraid I can't get out of the situation.
I love and accept myself even when I'm afraid I'm going to die.
I love and accept myself even when I'm afraid using my power to leave and get help will make things worse.
I give myself permission to feel empowered to get help.
I give myself permission to feel confident and secure discerning the safe spaces and safe relationships.
I give myself permission to let go of any generational patterns of domestic violence and abuse.
I give my children permission to feel secure and have healthy relationships full of love and safety.
I give myself permission to accept that I am worthy of protection.
I give myself permission to feel good using my power.
If you or someone you know is in or has been in a domestic violence situation, this is your sign to get help at open heart or by one of the resources listed above. Open Heart Holistic Therapy is a safe place and the holistic therapy Emotional Polarity Technique is made to empower survivors.