5 Ways To Love Yourself More

Why don’t you love you?

A lot of people decide to go to therapy because they realize that they do not like themselves. They don’t like something they have done. They don’t like a choice they have made. They don’t treat themselves very nicely. They don’t like the work they do or the people that they are with, and they want to change. They want to live life from a place of love and passion and connection.  

If you are struggling to connect, check out my blog post on Survivor Mode and get grounded now. 

There are a million reasons why you feel like you can’t love yourself. Here are a few you might resonate with:

1. Someone told you that you couldn’t be who you are. 

Many of us feel like we fall short in big and small ways. You think or feel a certain way, and someone told you that it was wrong. Someone told you that you shouldn’t exist. Someone told you that you can’t be who you are meant to be and have love. 

2. Someone you loved treated you like trash.

I see this so much in my office, one partner is the punching bag of the other partner. One person needs the other person to be down for them to feel up. This is also a tell tale sign that you are in a relationship with a narcissist. Loving yourself runs the risk of less love for them, and so they fight you and try to put you back down. 

This situation can also happen with a parent or caregiver. Child abuse and neglect are real, and they have real consequences as an adult. If you struggled with abuse as a child, then it can be hard to understand and love yourself. Reach out and try holistic therapy as a way to find yourself and love yourself in ways you have never experienced before. 

3. You did something (or many things) that you regret or feel like can never be forgiven.

Sometimes we hate ourselves because we do terrible things. Or maybe we just don’t do the perfect thing. Either way, you might feel like because of whatever you have done or not done in your life, you are not worthy of love. You withhold love from yourself because you think you don’t deserve it. 

I’m here to tell you no matter what you did, you are still here to be loved, and you can feel it again. 

4. You believe loving yourself is selfish or bad (probably because someone told you that). 

You may feel like you’re not allowed to love yourself. Some people grow up in a culture where loving yourself is seen as selfish or prideful, but the truth is that being loved is why we are here. With Emotional Polarity Technique we break through those false beliefs so you can make choices that create a fulfilling life of love and joy. 

How do you learn to love you? 

Just like there are a million reasons someone may not love themselves, there are many ways to learn, but here are a few. 

1. Do things that you love. 

You do you. Take steps to learn what you love and do it. Find a community that you want to be a part of and go for it. 

2. Be with the people that actually act like they love you and that you love. 

Don’t let someone else treat you like you aren’t worthy ever (and vice versa, or course). Surround yourself with generous and loving people. Remove yourself from people and places that treat you as less. 

3. Forgive yourself.

Just because you made a mistake doesn’t mean you have to suffer forever. Forgive and let go. Your story isn’t over and you can create positive and lasting change for generations to come. 

4. Remember: True love for yourself isn’t selfish.

I mentioned narcissism before, and some people believe that others only exist for their benefit. They struggle to connect, and don’t care how others are treated as long as they feel superior and happy. That’s not okay. 

True love for yourself doesn’t actively hurt others or put them down. True love for yourself is choosing to care for yourself for the good of yourself AND others. If someone treats you like trash, getting out of that relationship is good for both of you because you just stopped them from treating you like trash, which is wrong. It isn’t your responsibility to make them feel good about themselves. 

So, don’t be afraid to be love yourself confidently and freely. You’ll start to do and surround yourself with people and activities that build upon your joyful future. 

5. Get some guidance on how to grow in love for yourself. 

As always, get help when it is too much. We’re here for you, and you can put more love out for yourself and the universe in just one session. Make an appointment. 

Here are some statements to help you love yourself more, and be more yourself even when someone says you are not allowed.  

I forgive myself for believing I can’t be who I am without hating myself. 

I forgive myself for believing I’m broken forever. 

I forgive myself for whatever I did I regret. 

I forgive myself for denying love for myself to make someone else happy. 

I forgive myself for believing I’m selfish if I love myself. 

I forgive myself for believing I don’t deserve love because of whatever…

I forgive others for hating who I am. 

I forgive others for treating me like trash. 

I forgive others for believing self love is selfish or bad. 

I forgive others for being angry or abandoning me when I was myself. 

I give others permission to forgive me when I hate them. 

I give others permission to forgive me when I judge them for being selfish. 

I give others permission to forgive me when I’m angry at them or abandon them. 

I give others permission to forgive me when I hurt them. 

I love and accept myself even when I’m afraid of being hated for being me. 

I love and accept myself even when I’m afraid I’ll just do the thing again that makes me hate myself. 

I give myself permission to accept I am whole and I am loved. 

I give myself permission to love myself even when I mess up. 

I give myself permission to accept I am forgiven. 

I give myself permission to love myself as an example to those struggling. 

Without this self hate, I am free to love myself more and love others more. 

Without this hate I am free to show up for myself and others who are left behind. 

Without this hate I am free to do what I love. 

Without this hate I am free to pay attention to new opportunities for loving and fulfilling relationships with others. 

Without this hate I am free to have more joy in my life and what I do. 

Without this hate I am free to love what I have. 

Without this hate I am free to give love to others who might struggle. 

Without this hate I am free to accept others where they’re at.