Building Resiliency
Resiliency is a word that was super popular when I was in graduate school, and now, it seems like therapists have lost touch with it. What does it even mean? Resiliency is the ability to handle change and challenge with flexibility. The resilient person is at least slightly more on the positive/optimistic side of the spectrum, and if they’re not, they usually have a good network of friends and family that help keep up those positive, resilient vibes.
More than anything, resilient people know they are loved and feel they are loved. Resiliency is about the ability to tackle tough life circumstances and come out the other side still feeling loved and loving.
I say that people who find me as their holistic therapist USUALLY have HIGH resiliency because they know they need to do something to get help, they trust others to help them, and they believe they can get better and get through.
In my intake forms, I give a 14 question Resiliency Test, and often this helps people see that they are strong. If you want to take the test, click the button below:
The other thing that is great about resilience is that it can be taught and it can grow!
Here are some ways to build your personal resiliency:
Take care of your body
If your body isn’t feeling good, your mind isn’t going to be working at top capacity. Build a work out routine. Eat whole foods. Love that body. You are worth it.
Find a community
This is the most important thing for resilience. Be with people consistently. Build relationships. Whether it’s at the gym, work, improv team, toastmasters, church—community builds resiliency.
Get spiritual
Start praying. Meditating. Go to church. Mosque. Synagogue. Temple. Whatever it is, get in touch with the deep metaphysical part of yourself and the universe. And be thankful.
Talk to your friends
Maybe you haven’t reached out in a while. Keeping those connections past and present is a way to keep and build up that network of people you love that keeps up resiliency.
Journal. Write out those feelings.
If you’re not up for talking just yet, write it down. Get it out. Journaling is free therapy. Get deep with yourself. Be honest. Feel it. Let it go. You and no one else ever needs to look at what you wrote ever again, so be real. Once you’ve worked it all out in writing, it’s a lot easier to take it to your community for support.
Read uplifting and positive stories
I can’t seem to stop myself from reading news all. day. long. I have to check everything, and it really give no value to my life. Why do I do that? Take time to listen to, read, and watch positive storied of people being successful and resilient. It’ll make you feel better.
Stay solution-focused and be flexible
Resiliency is all about being able to cope and find solutions. Even if that solution is to just wait or to just be. The ability to find solutions is dependent on your family, community, and social circles. They may give you ideas you never thought of. They’ll be encouraging to you. They’ll tell you the truth. And you’ll get through.
Be nicer to yourself
Resilient people are nice to themselves, or find people who are consistently nice to them. When a challenge happens, you don’t have to act like everything is fine. It’s ok to feel the hurt, the pain, the loss, whatever it might be.
Just because something bad happened, doesn’t mean it’s your fault, and it doesn’t mean you have to fix it all. How would you treat a friend who was going through the same tough thing? And treat yourself that way.
Be kind to yourself first.
If you want to build your resiliency, reach out to Open Heart Holistic Therapy.